5 Tips for Parents: A Guide to Parent-Teacher Conferences

Do you like parent-teacher conferences? Hearing that your little Tommy is excelling in his studies can be awesome. Hearing that your little Tessa is easily distracted and disruptive can be alarming.

Every parent-teacher conference has the potential to bring up fraught emotions. But if you can proactively put yourself in a positive mindset and adopt a collaborative attitude, you can make the experience much less stressful and much more rewarding.

Remember: This is an awesome opportunity to connect with those who support and nurture your child’s academic and social development. It is an event where you can build more open communication with the school and collaborate on the best ways to support your child’s learning.

But to take full advantage of this opportunity, you need to come prepared. Most parent-teacher conferences have time constraints. You may have as little as 10 or 15 minutes with your child’s teacher. So to maximize whatever time you are given, try to do the following...

• Have goals and set your intentions ahead of time. Think about what you want to get out of the meeting. Would you like answers to specific questions or concerns that relate to your child’s academic progress, classroom behaviors, or social interactions? Do you want to know what you can do at home to provide additional support? Whatever questions, concerns, or ideas you have, this is your chance to express them. Don’t rely solely on the teacher to drive the discussion. Come prepared so you can actively participate too.
• Take notes. If there are any steps, strategies, or action plans you or the school agree to take, write them down. Record your notes in a format that is easy and most comfortable for you, whether digital (on your phone) or physical (in a notebook).
• Be receptive to ALL feedback. Listen carefully and without judgment, especially if the feedback is unexpected or disappointing to hear. Try to understand the teacher’s perspective. Teachers observe your child in a different environment, giving them unique insights into academic performance and social interactions that you wouldn’t otherwise be privy to. Stay positive and open, and keep the conversation respectful. You want to address your concerns and questions, but you also need to allow space for your child’s teacher to share their concerns and observations. This is an opportunity for learning and making connections – when you come with open ears and an open mind.
• Show a willingness to collaborate or support an action plan going forward. If there are shared concerns, agree on steps that can be taken, both at school and at home, to best address those concerns. Collaborative action might involve…
  • How to ensure missing/late assignments will be turned in or how to confirm schoolwork is being completed on time.
  • Suggestions to improve academic skills (doing an extra 15 minutes of math practice in the evening after finishing assigned homework or reviewing a list of Spanish vocabulary words prior to exams, for example).
  • Specific steps to address study habits (reviewing test materials starting three days before scheduled exams/quizzes, writing down important facts and main points in all assigned readings, etc.).
  • Strategies to target social skills (creating opportunities to learn, practice, and reinforce the skills in school and at home).
• Establish timelines and clarify any next steps. Know what everyone’s role is as it relates to addressing a concern or a problem, and what next steps need to be taken when. Decide on the best way to receive and provide updates (texts, in-person or virtual meetings, written notes, etc.). By maintaining an open line of communication, timelines can be adjusted, additional supports or strategies can be considered and implemented, and goal attainment can be celebrated!

These steps can go a long way in making your next school meeting a productive and positive experience. Again, this is a moment where you and the school can forge a deeper and more meaningful partnership, a partnership that has the power to reshape your child’s academic success and well-being.

Help with the most common concerns.

On a more personal note, in my professional experience having attended and participated in countless conferences, the two issues that often prompt spirited discussion – regardless of a child’s grade level or ability – are homework and study habits:

• What can be done to help my child get out of his homework hole?
• My daughter never seems to have enough time to get her stuff done!
• My kiddo is a procrastinator. What can I do?
• Social media and phones are so disruptive and distracting!

If you are having homework battles with your child or are looking for ways to create and reinforce healthier study habits, grab a copy of my latest chapter book, My Schoolwork Is a Mess! The story is written for middle schoolers, but it describes concrete strategies that can work for any age and every family. Read it with your child and then, together, set up the routines, supports, and study spaces that will promote greater focus, efficiency, and responsibility while reducing distractions and stress.

About Jennifer Licate

An award-winning author and veteran school counselor, Jennifer has more than a decade’s worth of experience supporting children’s social and emotional growth. Her books help children understand complex issues by immersing them in true-to-life stories that highlight multiple perspectives.

Jennifer Licate has written two quick-read chapter book series with Boys Town Press:

Navigating Friendships - Eight books plus teacher and counselor activity guides

Nurturing Independence - One book with more to come!

To learn more about and from Jennifer, check out her website or follow her on Instagram and Facebook.