7 Key Steps to Building Self‑Determination for Success

Self‑determination plays a huge role in how we set goals, stay motivated, and bounce back when things get hard. You can see it when a student keeps practicing even after failing a test, when a teenager advocates for what they need, or when an adult sticks with a long-term goal despite setbacks.

Whether you are supporting students, clients, or your own personal growth, these seven steps can help strengthen self‑determination in practical, meaningful ways.

1. Understand What Self‑Determination Is

At its core, self‑determination is the ability to make choices and manage your own life. It is closely tied to feeling like your actions matter and that you have some control over the outcomes you experience.

Think about a child who gets to choose which book to read or how to approach a project. That simple choice can increase engagement because it sends an important message: your decisions count. When people feel empowered rather than directed, motivation and emotional well‑being tend to grow.

2. Connect Motivation to Intrinsic Rewards

Intrinsic motivation means doing something because it feels rewarding on the inside, not because of stickers, grades, or praise alone.

For example, a student who loves drawing will practice for hours without being asked. A runner who enjoys the calm of a morning jog keeps going even when no one is watching. When we help people notice what feels satisfying, interesting, or meaningful about an activity, we are strengthening motivation that lasts far beyond external rewards.

3. Build Competence

Confidence grows from competence, and competence grows from practice.

This might look like a student practicing math problems a little each day, a teen learning to cook one meal at a time, or an adult taking small steps to learn a new skill at work. Pairing practice with a growth mindset, the belief that improvement comes with effort, helps people stick with challenges even when progress feels slow.

As skills grow, so does belief in the ability to succeed.

4. Foster Connection

Self‑determination does not develop in isolation. People are more motivated when they feel connected and supported.

Being part of a classroom, team, family, or group where effort is noticed and encouraged creates a sense of belonging. For a child, this might mean working alongside classmates toward a shared goal. For an adult, it could be a peer group that offers support and accountability. Feeling connected reminds us that we are not doing hard things alone.

5. Cultivate Autonomy

Autonomy refers to understanding that your choices influence what happens next.

When a child chooses how to complete an assignment, or a teen helps set their own goals, they are more likely to follow through. Autonomy builds responsibility and investment. Even small choices, like deciding the order of tasks or picking between two options, can reinforce the idea that effort and decisions matter.

6. Leverage Social Support

Encouragement, feedback, and positive relationships shape self‑determination more than we often realize.

Supportive words like “I see how hard you’re trying” or “What do you think would help next?” can boost confidence and persistence. On the other hand, constant criticism or lack of feedback can drain motivation. Strong relationships act as a safety net, making it easier to take risks, learn from mistakes, and keep going.

7. Follow a Step-by-Step Journey

Self‑determination grows through intentional, manageable steps:

• Discover your passion. Identify activities or goals that feel meaningful or energizing.
• Learn deeply. Ask questions, gather information, and explore the topic further.
• Practice regularly. Consistent effort builds skill, confidence, and intrinsic motivation.
• Celebrate growth. Noticing progress reinforces the belief that effort leads to improvement.

Each small success strengthens confidence and decision‑making.

Why It Matters

As skills, autonomy, and confidence grow, so does a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. People who feel self‑determined are more likely to make thoughtful choices, persevere through challenges, and take ownership of their goals.

By intentionally supporting these seven steps, we can help ourselves and others build the confidence to shape life with purpose, resilience, and joy.

Originally published as Self-Determination: A Path for Success and Happiness by Kip Jones, experienced school counselor and author of The Power of Self-Determination and other comic-book-style stories.