Big Emotions and the Back-to-School Shift

Back-to-school season can stir up a lot of emotions for kids, especially for Generation Alpha. These are the first kids to grow up fully in the digital age. Their brains are constantly absorbing information, sounds, and screens, which keeps their nervous systems more activated than ever.

That’s why understanding what’s happening underneath their behavior matters. Big emotions aren’t random; they’re part of how the brain and body work together.

Here’s the simple version: the nervous system is always scanning the world and asking, “Am I safe?” or “Am I in danger?” It reacts automatically based on how things feel, not logic. When life feels predictable and calm, the brain stays regulated. But sudden changes, like going from laid-back summer days to early alarms and packed schedules, can trigger the brain’s internal alarm system, also known as the stress response. This system is designed to protect us, but in kids, it can show up as anxiety, irritability, clinginess, or shutting down.

The brain thrives on consistency and routine because they help us feel safe. So during transitions like back-to-school, a child’s nervous system may respond with fight, flight, or freeze, not as misbehavior, but as a way of trying to return to safety.

Instead of reacting with “You’re fine” or “Stop crying,” try asking yourself: “What does their nervous system need right now to feel safe?” That shift from correction to connection can make all the difference.

Why Big Emotions Feel So Big

Most emotions come from four basic feelings – happy, sad, angry, and scared. When a reaction feels huge, like a meltdown over the wrong shoes, it’s often a clue that something deeper is going on. Taking a moment to ask, “Is this anger really about fear?” or “Is this sadness about missing the comfort of summer?” helps reframe the moment with compassion. It shifts the focus from fixing behavior to understanding the feeling behind it.

Gen Alpha kids are growing up fast, but emotional regulation takes time. They may not know how to say, “I feel overwhelmed,” so it comes out as a big reaction. That’s not a failure, it’s a signal.

Practical Tip:
Ask, “Which of the four big feelings is showing up right now – happy, sad, angry, or scared?” Then follow up with: “What do you think your body needs?” This builds emotional awareness without pressure.

Be Their Calm in the Storm

When kids are overwhelmed, they don’t need answers; they need your calm. This is called co-regulation, being steady so they can borrow your calm until they find their own. Simple actions like getting down to their eye level, speaking softly and slowly, or saying, “You’re not alone. I’m right here” can make a big difference. You also can use a quick sensory reset, like offering a cold drink, a calming scent, or asking them to name colors in the room. These small moments help signal safety to the brain and allow the nervous system to settle.

Practical Tip:
Start a simple morning ritual, such as two deep breaths, a high-five, or singing/listening to a favorite song. Predictability helps the nervous system feel safe.

Teach Them to Listen to Their Bodies

Even before kids have the words to describe how they feel, their bodies are already sending signals. This scanning system, called neuroception, helps the nervous system detect safety or danger. When a child’s body senses something is off, such as a tight tummy, clenched fists, or shallow breath, it’s their nervous system reacting.

Helping kids notice these cues teaches them how to self-regulate. You might say, “If your tummy feels tight, your body might be telling you it’s worried,” or “Let’s help your body feel safe again with some belly breaths or a stretch.” These gentle prompts help shift them out of fight-or-flight and into a calm, connected state.

Practical Tip:
Try body check-ins. For example, you might ask, “Does your body feel calm, jumpy, or sleepy right now?” This builds self-awareness over time.

Back-to-school isn’t just about academics, it’s a chance for emotional growth. Every feeling is a message, not a problem to fix. Big emotions like worry, frustration, or fear aren’t something to shut down. They’re signals that need a voice.

Your job as a caregiver isn’t to eliminate hard feelings, but to help kids understand and move through them with support. When we show up calm, curious, and connected, they learn they’re not alone, which helps them thrive.

About Dr. Rebeca Chow

Dr. Rebecca Chow is a licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor who practices in Kansas and Missouri. She speaks at national and international conferences, sharing insights on mental health and generational social trends.

You can connect with Dr. Chow on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and her website. 

Dr. Chow is the expert consultant on two of author Julia Cook's storybooks:

Awesome Dawson Has Big Emotions

Awesome Dawson: My Emotions Have a Job!