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How can parents build resilience and confidence in their children? When our children experience big emotions, frustration, or setbacks, it’s natural to want to help. You notice your child struggling to tie their shoe? We might quickly do it for them so you can get out the door. Did they come home upset about a disagreement with a friend? We may immediately want to know who hurt them, offer advice, or tell them to stay away from that person. Our instinct to help comes from a good place, but …

Working in the school system, I often hear children being asked, “Don’t you know any better?” or “Why didn’t you make a better choice?” These questions are usually met with a confused expression. Then these children look at the ceiling or the floor, searching for a response that won’t get them deeper into trouble. The truth is that there are a lot of children who don’t know better. They have often made the best choice they could, given the informa …