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“I’m bad.” We’ve all heard it. A child has been told they’re “bad” to the point that they’ve integrated it into their sense of identity. “Bad” goes from being something a child does to who they think they are. Though adults may think this type of language can curb problematic behavior, it actually stands to produce the opposite effect. If a child is bad as a person, why should they try to change their behavior at all? If they are inhere …

After waiting for a while in a crowded deli line on my lunch break, it was finally my turn. “I’ll have a ham and cheese sandwich, please,” I said, proud of my politeness. “Good morning, sir,” the obviously perturbed worker said. I deserved that. I quickly said, “Good morning, ma’am,” excused myself and repeated my order with a smile. Given how crowded the place was, my New Yorker-brain cut to the chase and dispensed with the greeting. This deli, however, was located in Paris, France, not i …