Using Relaxation Strategies: A Skill That Supports Confidence, Focus, and Emotional Balance

Why Relaxation Strategies Matter

Kids experience stress for many different reasons — tests, friendships, overwhelming schedules, sensory overload, unexpected changes, and more. Without effective coping tools, this stress can build quickly and result in meltdowns, avoidance, negative self-talk, or shutdowns.

When we teach children how to use relaxation strategies, we give them:

• A sense of control over big feelings
• Skills for self-soothing and grounding
• A healthier way to handle frustration, anxiety, or disappointment
• Techniques they can use independently at school or home
• A calmer starting point for problem-solving and communication

Just like any other social-emotional skill, relaxation strategies get stronger with practice. The more often kids use them, the more naturally they’ll be able to pause, breathe, and work through tough situations.

The Skill: Using Relaxation Strategies

These steps come from Teaching Social Skills to Youth, 4th Edition and offer children a clear, concrete way to settle their bodies and minds when stress begins to rise.

1. Breathe deeply and completely.

Slow, steady breaths send a signal to the brain that the body is safe. This slows the stress response and helps kids feel more in control. Encourage them to imagine “filling up a balloon” in their belly as they inhale.

2. Tighten and relax any tense body areas.

This step helps release physical tension. Kids can squeeze their hands into fists, raise their shoulders, or tighten their legs for three seconds and then let go. It’s simple, quick, and effective.

3. Instruct yourself to remain calm.

Positive self-talk plays a big role in managing stress. Kids can use phrases like:

• I can handle this.
• I’m okay.
• I just need a moment.

Talking to themselves in a steady, reassuring way helps quiet racing thoughts.

4. Visualize a relaxing scene.

Kids can picture themselves in a peaceful place — mountains, a quiet beach, a cozy room, or a favorite safe spot. Visualization engages the imagination and gives the brain something soothing to focus on.

5. At the first sign of increasing stress, say to yourself “3, 2, 1, relax” and continue breathing deeply.

This final step acts like a reset button. It reminds kids to slow down, breathe, and stay aware of how their body feels. The more often they use this cue, the more automatic it becomes.

How Adults Can Support This Skill

Kids are much more likely to use relaxation strategies when adults model and encourage them. Try:

• Practicing together during calm moments
• Pairing the skill with bedtime routines
• Adding visuals in classrooms or counseling spaces
• Prompting the steps before stressful events (tests, transitions, tough tasks)
• Celebrating small successes when children try the skill independently

Short, frequent practice sessions work best — even 2–3 minutes at a time can build strong habits.

Resources That Can Help

Boys Town Press offers a variety of books and materials that support emotional regulation, coping skills, and confidence-building. These resources can help reinforce the skill of using relaxation strategies through relatable characters, real-life examples, and practical teaching tools.