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In our work with children, families and educators, we consistently hear comments like “They should know how to do that by now!” when describing a child's behavior. Our response is often that behavior change takes time and children, as well as adults, are not wired to be one time learners. It just doesn’t happen.Youth learn through the process of repetition and the application of contrast. Contrast is the experience that should result from a behavior, either a positive or negative consequence tha …

Peruse the self-help section of any bookstore and you’ll find dozens of books about self-acceptance. Self-acceptance, or being happy with you are, is an essential component of overall happiness. In fact, most researchers will agree that self-acceptance and one’s overall level of happiness go hand in hand. The more you accept who you are—the good, the bad, and the ugly—the happier you tend to be in life.Most parents will say they just want happy, confident kids. But the reality is we live i …

This summer my family enjoyed watching the Women’s World Cup. As the games went on, more and more questions came from my son. One stood out. “Dad, what’s a yellow card?” I was able to explain to him that a player is given a yellow card when they do something that is not allowed (push someone, trip someone, etc.). I told him it’s kind of like cheating to help your team win. What a great opportunity to talk about sportsmanship, and how it’s more important than winning. Soon after that, …

An interview with authors Alesia Montgomery and Laura BuddenbergFor many children (and adults), the countdown to summer break is on their minds beginning in early spring. As the school year winds down, kids look forward to sleeping in, playing in the sun, not having homework, and much more!If you live in a neighborhood with other children the age of your own children, informal get-togethers and hangouts are probably more common. But if you happen to live in a neighborhood without many child …

As spring approaches and images of warm breezes, budding trees, and outdoor social activities beckon, the allure of isolated and reclusive hobbies wane. This is especially true for students who spend more than 1,200 hours between August and May focused on learning, and their mentors who spend considerably more time preparing for, planning, and facilitating the learning process. For these individuals, the end of the school year marks the beginning of an 8-10 week “brain break” from all th …

“But, what’s the problem?” Does this sound familiar? I hear this question from my students A LOT! I find that my students struggle with understanding what a problem really is. Most assume that a problem is only a problem when it affects someone else, or when they see an immediate consequence for an action. In reality, of course, there are long-term and unintended consequences that they may not see for a while. And there’s also the ironic realization that problem solving isn’t JUST …

Fibbing. Bending the truth. Telling stories. Making up stuff.No matter what you call it, lying is not something you want your child to do. But kids of all ages often have difficulty telling the truth, especially if they're trying to avoid conflict, punishment or embarrassment. This also may involve not telling the whole story in order to stay out of trouble. In children's minds, it is easier to tell a lie than to admit responsibility for their behavior.Dealing with lies from your child can be ve …

I CAN'T Believe That Just Happened!In the Stained Glass Tree, Jilly finds herself in plenty of embarrassing situations, but perhaps the worst is when she goes to her first dance and Brianna "accidentally" spills punch on Jilly's new dress - then she slips and falls in the punch! This just absolutely crushes her spirits and ruins her memory of the dance! She leaves the dance, hides out on the football field, and she nearly lets the moment come between her friendship with Anton and Trina. Ji …

Just like actions have equal and opposite reactions, social interactions have equal and appropriate reactions. When someone offers a greeting, such as “hello,” the expected response is a similar greeting, not to walk by without responding. Likewise, during a conversation, it is appropriate to pause and offer the other participant a chance to talk and not just continue talking forever.Many children seem to learn these unwritten rules by observation and through play. But not everyone can. Fo …

Books are a gift. Opening a new book and allowing yourself to be absorbed into its pages can take you to worlds you never imagined. Different places and times. Magical, far-off destinations. Treasure hunts. Ship wrecks. Tales of friendship and love. New customs, cultures, and civilizations. A view into language, dress, and social mores of the past. Books have always been a part of my life. As a young girl, I loved mysteries. I remember asking for and receiving so many of the old Nan …